A Teenage Life Re-Do

I just decided recently to rewrite my first book, A Teenage Life. I feel very deep down that it didn't get it's chance, like it should have. The publishing company I went through was a joke. Publish America, Please don't publish your books through them. They never gave me an editor and basically published it with like every error. It was a huge embarrassment to me. I felt my writing would be questioned, I wouldn't want anyone to pay $25 for a book like that. I wouldn't want to. So my contract is over soon, I made sure to tell them I would not renew. Since they do it automatically. This time I'm rewriting it and it's going to be so much better. I'll have an editor and i'll be publishing it by myself. It may just be exclusively on Kindle for the first 3 months. I haven't decided yet. I can't wait to share the re-write once it's done and edited.

Some Changes..

So.. some changes have happened in the last month. The publishing company I was under closed. So this gave me an opportunity to redo my books. I'm very happy with the new covers and the titles I chose. Seems way better when you can do everything yourself. I know I said previously I wasn't going to write books anymore but I have all these ideas. First I want to work on a book called [Ex] Boyfriend's. It's about a girl by the name of Lana whose alone at 30 and wonders why. So she goes back to stories from her past. I think It will be interesting! we shall see. Also, a series if I can get up to it. I need to write, writing is who I' am and I feel it's time. So hopefully this time I can finish!

There Comes A Time

There comes a time

there comes a place

When we realize this life is not a race

We should watch the flowers grow

Enjoy the laughter

Talk about the weather

Meaningless conversations

Mindless vacations 

A trip to another world 

One that is not your own

Theres a place we all envy

We just need the time

Stop watching the clock

Lay in the beauty of the world

Enjoy the music in your soul

The song that remind you of you 

The things we wish for

We can reach them

If given that single second

There comes a time 

Where we throw out everything 

we know 

To make new mistakes

To explore the days

To experience what an hour really is

To dance in the middle of nowhere

To remember who you truly are

What makes you a part of this world

There comes a time 

Where we need to get lost 

To enjoy what time has for us 

There comes a place

That is our sanctuary 

When we realize

Our lives mean something 

No one can take away

The music in your soul

Our Vow

Tell me you'll love me forever

that these eyes will never grow sad

That we will never leave each other mad

to always remember how we came together

How our love made a beautiful child

Remind me its ok to struggle

cause we have each other

Tell me you'll always see my beauty

That our words won't hurt

That we'll pick each other up

when we've fallen

We'll never leave each other behind

We'll keep our promises

That we will always say were sorry

I'll tell you how you saved me

you reached out to me

when I thought love didn't exist

You showed me what real happiness is

We've had our fights

But we always come back

You have nothing to prove

I'll tell you our laughter will never falter

Your warmth will never grow cold

That I'll be your calm

In the days of chaos we can't control

We will tell each other

our love will last forever

We'll hold each other

That we will remember

how we came together

She Needs Me

Sometimes I just want to run away

Leave everything behind

I sometimes wonder

if I made the best decision

As her screams echo in my ears

I cry

I can't fix her pain

I'm not sure I could ever do this again

Sometimes I see the beauty

But other times I don't

I wish I could hide

But I won't

I can't run

She needs me

I'm her mom

When do we enjoy this?

She doesn't laugh

She doesn't smile

Everything seems to take awhile

She came into this world early

She had it harder, more than I know

She's more stronger then ill ever be

Sometimes I see the beauty

But other times I don't

I wish I could hide

But I won't

I can't run

She needs me

I'm her mom

So Hard To Find

I lost myself in you

I couldn't identify

Why would you do this?

Why couldn't you let me be me?

I lost myself

I'm so hard to find

I wish everything were true

In time I'll realize it was all you

You gave me something.

Something to hold on to

I lost myself in you

Everything seemed like a dream

A nightmare I came to see

I couldn't identify

The faces blurred

I'm bruised and burned

Where am I?

I'm so hard to find

I lost myself in you

Wherever you are

You left with a piece of me

How do I go back?

I'm just a reflection

Of what you made me

Pieces of you drop like tears

Where am I?

You knew my fears

You are so hard to find

Little Update

So I've decided to stop trying to write more books and focus just on my poetry. It pains me to come to that conclusion. I've had all these ideas and I'll start writing them. But never finish. Maybe it's not meant to be. I love writing and poetry will always be my #1. I'm going to work on my 3rd poetry book. Once I get to 40 I'll see if they will publish, if not ill do some form of self-publishing.